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Saturday, January 7, 2017

resolutions

New Years Resolutions: 2017


...as told by a 34-year-old and her 4-year-old, 3-year-old, and 2-year-old boys.


Resolution #1:

34 y/o: Eat fewer processed foods, less sugar.

4 y/o: Eat essentially only processed foods and sugar; but only if cut in triangles, no squares; wait, no, ALL TOGETHER!!

3 y/o: Eat maybe every other day or every third day; alternate between refusing meat and refusing carbs.

2 y/o: Stand in the middle of the kitchen and scream 'chocolate!!' until passing out.


Resolution #2:

34 y/o: Be more spiritual, less skeptical of religion. 

4 y/o: Choose to say my very first curse word ever within earshot of grandma.

3 y/o: Embrace a variety of organized religions and cultures. Alternate sing-shouting between Jungle BellsFeliz Navidad, and Dreidel Dreidel from the backseat

2 y/o: Spend bi-annual visits to church being man-handled into submission for 60 minutes, making mama feel less spiritually revitalized and more like she just finished a crossfit workout. 


Resolution #3:

34 y/o: Be more present, loving, and patient.

4 y/o: Be more hilarious, enthusiastic, and slightly more oblivious.

3 y/o: Be more sensitive, curious, and charming.

2 y/o: Be more demanding, aggressive, and adorable.


Resolution #4:

34 y/o: Be more present, loving, and patient.

4 y/o: Be more hilarious, enthusiastic, and slightly more oblivious.

3 y/o: Be more sensitive, curious, and charming.

2 y/o: Be more demanding, aggressive, and adorable.


Resolution #5:

34 y/o: Be more accepting and less critical of my appearance.

4 y/o: Wear my underpants backwards and not apologize for it.

3 y/o: Occasionally poke mommy's tummy and ask if there's a baby in there. Keep that lady on her toes.

2 y/o: Run around stark naked whenever possible. Point at belly command.


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