Old News: Past Blog Posts

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Sawdust and Urine: Part 4

 Boys are all asleep....
...so I have a few minutes to sit down and put together a few thoughts on our progress. 


A week ago, our big guy turned 4. It was the first day of Spring Break, so my husband was off with the boys and I chose to spend the day at work feeling sorry for myself. My mood was not improved when I got home and learned that we had no water hook up to the old washer and dryer (as anticipated, the new machines are still gathering dust in their original packaging). I angrily pointed out that I have about five minutes a week to do the 17 loads of laundry we accumulate (I know, the math there is like all wrong, but the hyperbole gets my point across), and this was particularly true on a weekend we planned to celebrate two family birthdays and catch up with my husband's out-of-town brother who spent the bulk of last year deployed overseas. 

My rage was translated into a much more reasonable request by my husband-who had originally declined a Saturday crew-that we have someone out to correct the problem. 

We are currently three and a half weeks into this fiasco and while we are seeing progress (whenever we break into the now heavily secured bathroom), I am starting to go a little batty as I roam around in the ever-thickening layer of dust and clutter that slightly resembles what once was my home. 

So, in the spirit of staying optimistic (because it's way too early in this process to transition to the 'anger phase' of home renovation), I have complied a list of unexpected PROs that have surfaced over the past few weeks:

1. Fitness. I am typically a pretty motivated gym-goer, but in our current situation, no gym means no shower. Which, actually now that I think about it, has always pretty much been the case for me. Just never saw the point of showering if I didn't get sufficiently sweaty and disgusting first. Still, if my bladder gets all demanding in the middle of the night (which is almost always the case) I do have a staircase I have to deal with, so that counts for something I guess.

2. Embracing the filth. Our house is a now a disgusting pile of trash and we just don't give two f*cks. It's a little liberating and a little alarming. I have always worried that there's this little part of me who could very easily slip into the role of reclusive hoarder with questionable hygiene (see shower comment on previous section) and now it's happening.   Someone should probably just go ahead and start the process of removing our children from their home now. 

3.  Convenience: The refrigerator is now 14 steps closer to the couch then it was before. Which is good, because with all this chaos, I need improved access to the booze. 

There's the fridge! Just five short steps past all that unfolded laundry...

4. No dishes. I would say I am feeling guilty about dumping all these paper plates into our landfills, but in a world where a Trump presidency is an actual, viable possibility, you gotta figure the apocalypse is pretty eminent anyways, so my guilt is minimal. 

5. Soothing background noise. With the possible exception of their NICU stays, our boys have seemingly never slept better. Apparently there's something about drilling and hammering that lulls them right into the deepest type of sleep. It's truly astounding. 


Potty training has hit a plateau. Spring break had originally been planned to be a potty bootcamp situation, but those plans were foiled by the arrival of the boys' globe-trotting uncle and a week action-packed with non-potty-training-friendly family outings where the hubs was parenting solo. We are realists, and also a little lazy, so the issue has remained stagnant. The closest thing that amounts to progress was today when I spotted our newly pronounced 4-year-old standing naked at the top of our stairs, holding a soiled pull up over his head and announcing 'I am poopy' 


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