Old News: Past Blog Posts

Monday, October 7, 2013

Two Under Two: Part Three

You might have two under two if...

...you have found a way to squeeze two rear-facing car seats in your backseat and one is covered in Cheerios and the other is caked in spit up.  (Remember when the backseat was reserved for *other* stuff??  Yeah, me neither)

...you have been awakened in the night with this thought: somebody is crying and I can't figure out if it's the baby, the toddler or me.  Oh God, Is it me??  

...you're fairly certain the toddler thinks the baby's name is 'Gentle touches...geeentle touch--hey! No no'. (Have you met my brother 'gentle touches'?  Yeah, pretty sure my parents are hippies).

...bath time and bedtime for the toddler feels more like an elaborate race against time that is lost the moment the baby realizes he's been thoughtlessly left alone and sounds his baby-alarm.  Waaaah, you lose Mommy!

...your 'day job' suddenly feels like a paid vacation.  If only they'd schedule a nap time and offer cocktails.

...you blatantly disregard the AAP's recommendation of 'zero screen time under two' by flipping on PBS during breakfast, handing off the iPad during the morning nursing session, and offering the iPhone as a distraction while grocery shopping.  

...you spend over half your day with the theme song from Super Why running aggressively through your head.  This is presumably karmic payback for ignoring the parenting advice of medical experts.  

...sleeping more than three hours in a row is considered nothing short of a victory; but only after waking up in a panic and immediately checking the baby's pulse.  

...the last thing you ate was a handful of Cheerios and that was six hours ago.  (But you still can't remember the last time you comfortably wore pants with buttons)

...outings with both children would be incomplete without hearing the following comment at least once: Looks like you have hit hands full!  As for me, I generally respond by asking if they'll babysit while I take a quick nap up against the nearest wall.  No, that's a lie.  I just laugh and agree with them because I'm not that funny in real life.  

...your life is a beautiful chaotic blend of diapers changes, baby snuggles, nursing, toddler Olympics, and bedtime stories; and you wouldn't have it any other way.

No comments:

Post a Comment