I called my husband.
I went down to the hospital cafeteria.
I sat down.
And I started crying.
-My new mom hormones crave a good cry, like 100% of the time.
-For all the women whose babies were born as angels and left the hospital alone.
-Because I'm tired and anxious.
-Because I'm not ready.
-Because I can't wait.
-For my parents who give me nothing but unconditional love and support and I somehow keep acting like an ungrateful 14-year-old.
-Because the doctors and nurses have been so full of kindness, compassion, and comfort and I don't know how I could ever thank them for that.
-For my sons who will never know how beautiful they are in my eyes.
-Because I know my boys will someday treat me poorly (they will eventually become teenagers, right?) and I will love them anyways.
-Because the hospital photographer set my little one's pictures up on a slideshow with sappy music and quotes (that sneaky bitch!)
-Because I don't know what I'm doing.
-Because I just don't have enough space for all these heavy emotions and maybe tears will free up some room for something else.